loveliest

when I was younger & afraid
I never boiled water
for fear of the steam
& the squeal

the hiss of a kettle
& roar of a vacuum
& look of angry regret
when those eyes bore into me

those were the worst eyes

make me feel like running
hopping in the car & driving
away
as far as I can go

those were the worst drives

something that keeps me here
is how my heart enthralls
at the look of my husband’s
mischievous, loving eyes

as he does nothing but look at me
I can’t run from his gaze
I welcome the warmth
& take a swim in the clear blue

those were the best nights

it’s one mistake, I memorize
a mantra that brings comfort
is holding onto the love & letting go
of the unending pain

& that is the loveliest kiss.

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